Julio Gabriel Jorge Dizon

You are my EVERYTHING! You mean more to me than anything in this Godforsaken world. I gave you my heart. Which means I very much trust you with the most fragile thing in the world. I TRUST YOU. You are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. You are the one I'd want to face all the challenges with. You are the one I need, to walk with me, by my side, through life. You are the one I want to grow old with. You are the one I'd want to marry. I need you in my life. I don't know where I'd be if I never had you, and I can't imagine life without you. And I never want to go back to a life without you. You're the one for me, I know it. I can feel it in my veins, and my whole body. I can feel it in my heart. That is why I anticipate the day I get to go HOME. Home being wherever you are. Because with you, I feel at home. And that's where I want to stay forever. I don't care where we are. As long as I'm with you, I will be the happiest person alive. Because that's the only thing I want. From July 17, 2010 at 9:04pm, I want to be with you forever. I love you, Julio Gabriel Jorge Dizon.

The Most Foolish Traveler In The World

Once upon a time there was this foolish traveler who had gone on a journey.

Why was he foolish? Well because he was fooled by everyone he'd met.

Everywhere he went people made up all kinds of sad stories to tell him,

and the traveler fell for every one of them.

Pretty soon his money, his clothes, even his shoes have been cheated away from him,

but the foolish traveler was always glad to help

and he always told people the same thing. He said, "I wish you happiness."

But by this point, the traveler was completely naked and with nothing left to cover himself

he decided to leave the main road and travel through the dense forest where no one can see him.

But soon he was discovered by the goblins that lived in the woods.

The goblins wanted to eat the traveler's body!

So they begged and they pleaded and they used kind words to try and trick him.

Of course, the traveler was fooled.

First he let the goblins eat one of his legs, then an arm, then more and more.

After it was over all the traveler had left was his head.

He'd even given his eyes away to the last of the goblins.

And as the last goblin was eating the traveler's eyes, he turned and said,

"Thank you, traveler. In return I leave you this present."

All the goblin left was this piece of paper with the word "fool" written on it.

The traveler couldn't see it, he didn't know what it was.

Even so, tears began to float out of his face.

"Thank you," he said, "This is the first present anyone's ever given me, I'm so happy! I'm so happy, thank you."

Even without his eyes, he cried and he cried great tears of joy.

Then, the traveler died, the smile still on his face.

And that's the end of the story.

Right after we heard that yesterday, all of the other kids in the class started making fun of the traveler.

But while they did that, I closed my eyes and thought about him a little longer.

I thought about how he'd given everything away, until all he had left was his head.

And how at the end, he still cried for joy as he said, "Thank you."

And then I realized, I feel so sorry for him.

See; Loss, hardship, things like that, you can't only focus on them.

The traveler didn't. He never thought about his own troubles at all.

I imagine it does sound foolish to some people, but not to me.

I don't think he's foolish at all.

Even though other people probably think he was being tricked, I don't think he was.

I think he did exactly what he wanted to do.

I think, more than anything, he just wanted to make other people happy.

What about you? What do you think?

Really, is that foolish?

When you close your eyes and think about it, is that what it is?

Have you ever put much thought into it?

Have you ever missed somebody so much that you broke down crying?

But then soon wondered why you were crying when you know you'd get to see them again.

Shouldn't you be happy that you still get to see them?

So why did we cry?

Does that make us spoiled if we constantly yearn for someone's presence everyday?

We know it's out of love, but tell me honestly, doesn't it sound spoiled?

To want to be with someone, every single day, all the time.

To continuously be sad throughout your whole day, and possibly worrying other people.

That's pretty selfish, if you ask me.

But then, if missing someone is such a bad thing, what about not caring at all?

It seems even worst.

Because if you act like you don't care about a person at all,

and acknowledge their well-being,

you're just taking advantage of them and their feelings.

----

So, You're either spoiled , or ungrateful.

Which one are you?

Not Enough Words

Ever since July 17th, 2010 , my life became so much brighter.

And for once in my life, I can actually say that I am happy.

And that I have no more reason to fake smile anymore.

And it's all thanks to

JULIO GABRIEL JORGE DIZON.

I'm kind of at a loss for words right now,

seeing that after all the hardships and breakdowns I've had,

Life has finally decided to give me happiness.

And because of him, my heart is no longer aching.

I don't have to suffer anymore heartbreaks.

I've been misread, misguided, and misunderstood.

But he showed me an opened door,

after I've been staring at all the closed ones for so long.

He touched my heart and taught me how to love

and I've never been more optimistic in my life.

For some reason, he let's me see the good in things without even trying.

He's kind of like a prince charming,

who came to rescue me from my sad life, when I've almost lost all hope.

Being with him, just feels SO right.

Right when he asked me the official question,

I knew right then and there,

that I wouldn't want to spend my life with anyone, but HIM.

And I truly believe that he loves me, for me.

I never want to feel like I'm losing him,

And I never want to make him feel like he's losing me.

He shouldn't feel that way,

because NO ONE can ever change my feelings for him.

Sure, there are lots of other guys out there, but I chose him out of all the others.

He's the only one I want to spend my life with.

And I could change my mind, but why would I?

He's perfect for me.

Most of the time, he leaves me speechless.

Even at the littlest things he says or does.

I think about him 24/7 , no matter what.

He's the last person that's on my mind before I go to sleep,

and the very first one right when I wake up.

Everyday I wonder what he's doing at the moment

and if he's thinking about me.

Every time the phone rings, I secretly hope it would be him,

wanting to hear my voice that day.

When I hear his voice, it just somehow makes me smile.

Each time I talk to him on the phone,

I'll close my eyes and listen to his voice (only if he's speaking)

Because it feels like he's in the same room right beside me,

whispering in my ear.

And when I do get a chance to spend the day with him,

I will cherish that moment

because we'll never know how long it will be until the next time we meet.

Once he leaves my side, I'm just lost without him.

It makes me sad that I can't be with him everyday,

but it's not our fault.

We just have to be patient and wait,

because one day, we'll be able to spend every day together.

And it'll be worth the wait to be able to wake up every morning

with him right beside me.

~

I'm just so glad I took the chance to see how much better my life is with him.

Because I honestly don't know how my life would be without him.

I would say I want to be with him forever,

but "forever" just doesn't seem long enough.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'll watch the night turn light blue,

but it's not the same without you.

Because it takes two to whisper quietly.

The silence isn't so bad,

'til I look at my hands and feel sad.

'Cause the spaces between my fingers

are right where yours fit perfectly.

As many times as I'll blink,

I'll think of you,

tonight.

- Owl City 's "Vanilla Twilight"

I'm falling way too fast. Someone catch me.

Before I fall, too fast

kiss me quick,

but make it last.

So I could see how badly this will hurt me

when you say goodbye.

---------------------------------

This is not good at all.

I forgot to look before I fell,

so now I'm waiting to see if he'll catch me, or not.

I have a good feeling about this one,

but I can't be too sure, because I'm not exactly Clairvoyant.

I could just be misreading things.

But I just can't shake the feeling off that this is SO RIGHT.

I can HONESTLY say, that he gives me butterflies.

I've never had them for any other guy, and I've always wanted to meet a guy

who will give me butterflies.

And now that I've finally found him,

I'm not going to give up without a fight.

This time, I WILL not give up so easily.

What catches me off guard though, is that I daydream about him...

I've been thinking of how we'll fall in love, when we'll fall in love,

what we'll do as a couple, and how in love we are.

It makes me want to stay in my dreams forever.

Because everything goes the way I'd like it to go.

And I hate when I wake up or snap back to reality.

Bad thing about this mishap is that I've just met the dude,

and I've already got it bad. SERIOUSLY.

I don't know how the fxck this happened so damn quickly,

but to my surprise I don't care what anyone says.

I'm just wondering if I'm moving too fast.

I like to be smart about this and think it through

and try to slow down.

But I guess it's because I'm not getting enough love?

I think I'm moving too fast because I miss the feeling of being loved.

I miss being in a relationship,

and I want to feel that special feeling you get when you're with someone you love.

You can say I've been watching too much romance movies,

but I also see a few couples who are just like that,

and I want to have one for myself.

And even though I know why I'm moving too fast,

it's so hard to slow things down.

I'm honestly trying, but I want him.

---------------------------------

'Cause you're so hypnotizing,

you've got me laughing while I sing,

you've got me smiling in my sleep.

And I can see this unraveling your love is where I'm falling,

but please don't catch me.

You're worth the risk

I don't know what to believe anymore.

Everything that I thought was right,

was wrong.

I thought you were my one chance of being happy,

and there would be no reason to fake smile.

I thought you were different this time. I thought I could change you.

But you just treat me like every other girl you've dated.

But I'm not sad over the fact that you didn't choose me.

In fact, I could care less.

But it's the fact that I was being so blind and utterly stupid!

I swore to myself, before, that I wouldn't let your charm fool me,

and I'll be smarter than the rest.

I was doing fine,

but I guess I let my guard down.

And even for the smallest amount of time that I didn't have my shield up,

you took advantage of it and charged full speed ahead

and into my heart, breaking every lock and every chain binded to it.

So now I'm hooked with no way out of it.

I just wish, that you would see how much I care about you,

and how much I'm willing to risk for you.

Don't underestimate me,

I may not fully understand, but I do, in fact, understand.

Enough to help you.

We only wish

"We all wish for things, and expect them to happen instantly.
But what we don't know is that,
God has granted the first step to getting our wish.
We just need to have the wisdom, the strength, and the courage
to take the second step,
then the third,
and to keep climbing those stairs
UNTIL we get our wish."


----

Wishing is not enough. It's also taking action.

"Ready, And Waiting To Fall"

I don't want to give up.
But I feel like I'm the most unluckiest person.
I want to prove it wrong,
but how can I go against fate?

However,
it feels like this one is SOOO different.
I can't explain it.
It just feels as if "us" is supposed to happen.
I just need to find a way to get to it.

I don't know if he even paid attention to me that day.
All I know is that, I have.
I've paid attention,
and look where it's gotten me.

I feel like I've missed that chance that day.
And everything would be so different
if I had taken that chance.
It makes me so frustrated that it was in my reach!
How could I let it slip through my fingers like that ?!

I just need to remind him of who I am.
Let him take notice,
and see where it takes us.

But I'm so frightened of the thought,
what if he won't see it?

I've gotten my hopes skyrocket before,
just for him,
and he let me fall flat on my face when it backfired.
If I get my hopes even higher,
for the fact that if I meet him again and remind him of me,
I don't want to fall again,
and look like a complete idiot.

But what should that matter?
He IS worth the risk. I know it.

But everyone's afraid of being
rejected.

This is my heart's fault

& This is what I fucking get for getting my hopes skyrocket high.

I'm just so fucking tired of trying !
Every time I aim for my target, I'm so confident,
but then it disappoints me in the end,
AS ALWAYS.

I know life isn't fair,
but this is too much.

If life isn't fair, why the hell are we here?
How are we able to get the things we want?

I don't know what to fucking do, or think anymore!

But all in all,
I should have known better.
I curse at myself every time I risk it, and fall flat on my face
telling myself, "what the fuck were you thinking?!"
I understand it was my fault,
and I'm terribly mad at myself for giving in.

But what I don't understand,
is why did I give in, in the first place?

It seems so different, and so in-reach,
that I'd think this would finally be the time
where life says, "She's had enough."

When will life ever be on my side?

Love is a powerful word

For some, LOVE is a powerful word.

For others, LOVE is just another fad to follow.

But I , do not intend to follow the fad. It is just stupid and wrong

to take someone for granted. To tell someone lies to

and claim that you actually do love them,

when in reality,

you're just pretending.

You wouldn't think lust would hurt anyone,

because it's not physical.

But naive as you are, my dear,

lust is the worst kind of pain you can inflict on someone.

----------------------------------

I'm smarter than this.

Or at least, I should be.

Feelings are so hard to control. And sometimes you can get them mixed up.

Which is why I tend to be smarter than most.

I've been through heartbreak and tears, and I never want to go back to them again.

So I've taken the liberty of blocking LUST out.

Not LOVE, but LUST.

And maybe I could be wrong about this whole thing,

and in reality, I could just be much more stupid than everyone else.

I could also just be really cautious.

I don't want to mistake LUST as LOVE,

because I don't want to be a hypocrite and lie to someone.

My poor sympathetic heart

has me afraid

to love someone.

Because I don't want to be lying.

My mind would say I'm better than this, and walk away,

because I know this is just LUST.

But my heart continues to fight shouting out,

"This could be different."

And I don't know which one to listen to.

I've read over the signs,

and I know there's more to his life story.

But to me, with me,

it feels as if it just comes naturally.

But he could just be that one boy that has that special gift.

The special gift of meeting girls,

and just by talking to them,

other times with just complete silence,

can make their emotions go crazy, and out of whack,

that they'll claim they LOVE him.

He's that one distraction, that one poison,

that interrupts the mind's work

of interpreting whether or not it's LOVE , or LUST.

And he can do it single-handedly.

Which makes me very afraid of falling more than 10 ft. deep

into the sea of sadness.

They always say, "look before you fall."

well, I looked.

And it's a long way down.

But my heart tells me to jump,

thinking he'll be down there to stop my fall.

But reality's much more cruel than that.

idk why I'm still here

I don't even know where to begin with this feeling. Right now, I hate myself for being able to see.

Because if I didn't see you I wouldn't feel like this.

Honestly, for surely this time, I have never felt like this. I am not joking. You are the only person able to make me feel like I have NOTHING in this world if it isn't you.

For me, I have reached a whole new level of being depressed. It's because of you,

that I have to put great effort just to try to smile.

I hate my life.

I can honestly say that even with the greatest friends I could possibly have,

who go out of their way just to walk through this with me.

You are the reason that lets me know life is teasing me;

Before, I was doing just fine. I didn't need anybody.

But it wasn't until when Life showed me who you were,

that I actually wonder what I ever did to deserve this.

Right now, I am the caged dog. Life is the teaser. :

Life attaches 'him', like a bone, to a string tied to a stick.

Life throws the bone into my cage, and as I aim to get it,

Life reels it back and out of my reach.

I am the caged dog and Life is the teaser.

And I can't take it anymore.

From the very first second I saw you, and you saw me, I thought I'd actually have a chance

with the way your eyes gleamed at me like we knew each other our whole life.

I guess I was the only one to notice it,

because for a split second, I actually knew it would be possible for us.

But I guess you don't even want to try to see it.

And it gives me such pain that I could actually feel my heart breaking.

I DON'T WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE, IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It wasn't my fault for falling for you. You were the one who tripped me.

Cheaters Never Prosper

Continuation to "You are not worth any heart" :

People like you just make me so mad!

But whatever. It's your life, not mine. So screw it up if you want to.

Just don't come crawling back to the people who try to help you when karma hits you.

We won't care, like how you never cared.

Have a little knowledge, followed by a heart.

And a little note:

I can't believe your 'secret girlfriend' actually went along w/ it. Maybe you two are made for each other,

you're both stupid.

'cause I don't know what kind of girlfriend would let you do the things you did.

She must be pretty desperate, because most girls won't put up w/ it.

And that's something you'll want to work on for the near future.

--------------

One day a boy asked his mother, "Mom, how do I find the perfect girl?"

And she replied, "Don't try to find the perfect girl,

but concentrate on being the perfect man."

You are not worth any heart

You leave me speechless; I don't even know where to begin!

You infuriate me so much, I can't even stand you now.

What in your right mind would drive you to cheat on your girlfriend, and sneak behind her back?

You must be pretty stupid - no wait, let me rephrase that - You must be insanely stupid, to even think about cheating on her.

What? Is she not good enough for you? Well, then why did you make her your girlfriend?!

Simple as breathing, boy!

Does it bring you joy to break a girl's heart and watch her saddened?

Does it entertain you to see how oblivious you think she is?

Does it make you laugh to let her think that she'd be nothing w/out you?

Well, NEWSFLASH! , dude. You're pathetic!

Once she found out you lied to her, sure she cried. But those tears, not a single one, was for you,

but for actually believing her; thinking she's stupid.

But let me give you credit for good acting, 'cause I would've believed it too if I didn't know you well.

Now that she knows, she's as stronger as ever.

She sees that her heart didn't break, and she won't be sad that you don't love her, 'cause you never did.

And if you actually did love her, you wouldn't have lied and snuck around.

She knows that she's smarter because you couldn't fool her for the most part.

And what's even better about her not having you anymore,

is that she knows damn well that she does not need you in her life.

She would have been better off not meeting you at all. But you just had to make a hell of a lot more complications than was is necessary.

Good riddance! She is better than ever w/out you.

------------------------

"Fool me once, Shame on you. Fool me twice, Shame on ME.";

"Never fall for a guy who's not willing to catch you when you fall."

I give up on love

"The greatest pain that comes from love is loving someone you can never have."

-----------------------------------

I don't see why my life's worth living anymore. The things I used to know, proved me wrong, and now karma's hitting me harder than ever. Nothing hurts more than realizing he meant everything to you, but you meant nothing to him.

Truthfully, I've claimed I had this feeling before. And you may think I'm the 'girl who cried love'. But I really thought this one was different. I really thought I had a chance.

And It hurts to know that there's nothing I can do, but sit here and cry just so no one can hear me.

I feel vulnerable and very weak in the knees. And I really don't want to live anymore...

"I hate you for not letting me love you..."

once a cheater, always a cheater

"Now I believe it when people say love is blind... 'cause I must have been blind to love a person like you."

That's what his girlfriend's gonna say when she hears the truth about her boyfriend. I just feel sorry for both of them.

She actually believes that he loves her, and he actually has the pride to go behind her back.

I don't get why people act this way. It's just so frustrating! Do they actually enjoy hurting people?

Because nothing hurts more than a broken heart. And right now, I feel the urge to tell her straight to her face, "You're boyfriend is cheating on you." After all 'Honesty's the best policy'. So why doesn't he follow it ?

But to make the situation even worst, is that I knew he was like this, a year ago. And honestly, I thought he changed. But no! that mtherfcker, lied to me. "I love you and only you". Yeah riiiightt!

Sometimes I can't even believe he's my kuya. I feel bad for him, honestly. I feel terribly sorry for him!

How much of an idiot can you be ?! Seriously!

you're the reason I believe in love at first sight

I get the best feeling in the world when you say hi or even smile at me because I know, even if its just for a second, that I've crossed your mind.

---------------------

Have you ever had that feeling when you meet someone, and you don't know whether it's love at first sight or it's something else? Because that love at first sight feeling is indescribable, so you won't know what that feeling is called.

I'm sure you have and I was sure to doubt it for you, but for some strange reason, I will believe it if you tell you have.

Have you ever met a boy who seemed to like you and you liked him, but then a minute later it seems he's uninterested? You'll think that this is why boys are so confusing. But they're really not that complicated. It's just the fact that they like to mess around w/ the girls' minds and give mixed signals.

I can't describe any of my feelings for this topic. I have lost all meaning of words because no word can help me describe this incredible feeling every time I see him. I day dream about him and me and imagine how perfect we'd be together If we were together. How much of an impact I could be in his life and how I would love to be there for him through anything and everything we go through.

And honestly, I can picture me and him down a long velvet carpet, hand in hand, with me dressed in a beautiful white gown and him in his tux looking all handsome, exchanging the words, "I do."

Remember when we were young?

Do you remember when we were kids?

When getting high was on a swing set in the park.
When getting stoned meant having little rocks thrown at you.
When the only drug you knew of was cough medicine.
When the only things boys could give you were cooties and the only thing they played was football.
When you would go to school not caring what you looked like.
When the most painful thing in life was scraping your knee.
And the only things that got broken were toys.
When the only race issue was who could run the fastest.
When war was a card game.
When your worst enemies were your brothers and sisters.
When mom and dad were always right and mistakes could be rubbed out.
When you thought your parents were the coolest people alive.
When your future began with 'when I grow up I'm going to be..'
When you only cried when you fell over and falling out with friends meant not talking for a whole 5 mins.
When saying goodbye meant only until tomorrow.

Now we aim to get high, want to get stoned, and be the so called 'coolest' teen who does drugs.
Now the boys would give us their lust and play with our hearts as well.
Now we spend two hours picking out our outfit.
Now we learned that the most painful thing in life is more emotional than physical.
And now the number one thing that gets broken all the time are hearts.
Now we're more shallow as we give into the race issue.
Now we participate in war, which we know it's not a card game.
Now we don't give a damn about our brothers and sisters.
Now we just want our parents to just disappear.
Now we don't know what the hell to do with our future.
Now the one thing we cry over is that one person you love dearly and falling out with friends means never dealing with them again.
Now when we say goodbye, it means forever...

---------------

Now that we think about it, being young was the most precious moment of your life.

Now that we look back and compare us now to the person we were back then, gives us a sense of pride and emotional feeling that couldn't compare to anything.

We've lived, learned, and loved.

Being young wasn't about growing up so quickly or learning lifetime skills,

but to have as much fun as possible while you are still a kid.

Most kids want to grow up, but it's because their minds have been reset every resurrection,

that they forget to live their childhood to the fullest.

I think that our existence in this world isn't because we have a purpose.

I think the only reason we exist is because shxt just happens.

There's no purpose or reason for us,

but to live life to its complete fullest, because life is a gift, not a privilege.

So you don't know when it will come to an end...

february-who?

So, the long awaited 'Valentine's Day' is coming up. Or at least some people actually anticipate for this holiday. I, on the other hand, just don't care. ;P I used to get excited for it... back in 5th gradee ;/ ugh. Now, I wonder, "what was I thinking?"

Valentine's Day is the day you show the person you care for and love the most. And why you are grateful for having them in their life. To do something special for them. I, frankly, don't get it. you can do this any other day. Hha, but what do I know, rightt? Well, people nowadays think it's only for your boyfriend/girlfriend. (I know right? stuuuupiid!) But it seems that these people actually think they care for them, when all in all, it was just an act. yeah, how do I know? By EXPERIENCE. That's how. So, why would you go through the trouble of buying pure chocolates and sensational flowers that are just going to get smashed and thrown away after?

What about those who don't need a guy/girl to complete them? They leave these people out on these days, and it's just plain wrong. So what if they don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend? It's their choice, and maybe they don't want to date anyone. Maybe because they don't trust anyone, or they just think relationships are overrated. Maybe they even have a mature mind, and think they're too young to be in love! I don't know, and I definitely don't care what they think. All I want to know is, who the hell invented Valentine's Day ?!

Valentine's Day = No Point To It

Best friend is a promise, not a label

"Never leave the one you love for the one you like, because eventually the one you like will leave you for the one they love."

--------------------------------------------------

There comes a time in life when you get a boyfriend, or girlfriend, in that matter, who you'll care deeply and inevitably for, and you will want to spend every waking moment with their presence. You will want to ignore everybody in this whole entire world because all you want is that person you're with.

But is it worth ignoring your best friends?

Is it worth throwing away everything you and your friends had together just for this one person you know so little about?

Because sooner or later, people tend to change, for the better or worst. And sometimes, or most of the time, their feelings tend to change as well.

So what will happen if said person changes and you have no one else to go to because you gave your heart and everything else you had to the person who changed their mind?

Are you going to go crawl back to your friends who has been waiting what feels like a lifetime for you to come back?

Because sometimes friends can change their minds too. So if you let them wait, when you had a choice, they're going to know that you never cared.